Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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