Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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