its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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