We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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