its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize