To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
