so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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