"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
