she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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