okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
