My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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