Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
