i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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