just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
how do you play pong handcuffed?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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