Little spoons don't ask big questions
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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