My liver just broke up with me...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize