Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
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