pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I know her cup size but not her name....
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