so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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