I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
