Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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