The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
