This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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