i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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