She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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