you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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