It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize