that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
