Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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