Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
