I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
