what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize