Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
