if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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