i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
