Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
