never play flip cup with pint glasses
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
