i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
