a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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