real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
