i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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