You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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