I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize