Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
