Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize