new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
