We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
