honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
