super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
