can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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