New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
