Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
