My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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