walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she pinky promised me she was 18
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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