Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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