you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
