She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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