I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
