Screwed.edu
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize