I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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