I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
