he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
