remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
