im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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