It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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