So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
