He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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