You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
