the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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